They have it relatively easy—soon we’ll have to climb a wall into México.

Chip/Johnathan forever. I will go down with that ship.

Hi hi! In case the Duke of Westminster is reading the comments section: I’m twenty-one, blonde, and know a lot about classical European history and upmarket shoes. I also already wear pearls and cardigans anyway! Just in case you’re looking for someone else to help you manage ;) that ;) estate ;)

Nobody gives a shit about your bunk-ass oatmeal mush and your faux-foodspin writing voice. If you want savory oatmeal, learn how to cook risotto like a “grown-ass person.”

And you’ll never guess... Who was there...

And most importantly, you get to be self righteous in comment threads about engagement rings. And who can put a price on that?

That’s why I like to grab my tit, shake it, and say “Say hello to the man”.

Soon to be a Disney film -

And in Georgia, a June Atlanta Journal-Constitution report cited a projection by the Georgia Association of Latino Elected Officials that the state could become more Democrat in coming years—and perhaps even by November—due to the surge in registered Latinx voters.

I’ll just pretend he was humming “You’ll Be Back” from Hamilton.

I have nothing to add except that I read Menstrual Justice as Menstrual Juice and was very confused/disgusted.

Several anti-vax organizations have been pooling their collective intellectual powers

Yeah, that befuddled me. As a Pens fan, our success this postseason starts and stops with Matt Murray.

Best sports city in the world. Fuck all of you.

I’m not a “Jezzie” or whatever you call it. Like you, I’m a sports read Deadspin daily, and sometimes I click on crossposts (just watched my Warriors kick ass!). However, I was once a victim of a crime similar to this one. I was raped while intoxicated and unconscious during the summer between 8th grade and my…

“Do you know who I am?”

If you didn't cry during the first 10/15 min of Up, I'm sorry to inform you but you have no soul.

Does not really have anything to do with tweet beat, but sending this to the internet void. I broke up with my boyfriend a few hours ago. Long story short over a month ago I dropped the L bomb and he didn't reciprocate and now im listening to I cant make you love me at 2am.

It’ll definitely cost a few bucks.

It’s not my joke but it’s a good one: