I’m not a “Jezzie” or whatever you call it. Like you, I’m a sports read Deadspin daily, and sometimes I click on crossposts (just watched my Warriors kick ass!). However, I was once a victim of a crime similar to this one. I was raped while intoxicated and unconscious during the summer between 8th grade and my…

“Do you know who I am?”

If you didn't cry during the first 10/15 min of Up, I'm sorry to inform you but you have no soul.

Does not really have anything to do with tweet beat, but sending this to the internet void. I broke up with my boyfriend a few hours ago. Long story short over a month ago I dropped the L bomb and he didn't reciprocate and now im listening to I cant make you love me at 2am.

It’ll definitely cost a few bucks.

It’s not my joke but it’s a good one:

So, with the above question in mind, I instead made a summer salad with it last night. Soaked cucumbers in rice vinegar, sugar and lemon juice (set them aside for 2 hours to get a nice picklish, tangy flavor) then added sliced and diced roma tomatoes, kalamata olives, pepperoncinis, red onion, minced garlic olive oil,…

911 i need an ambulance i have been burned by a hot take

You think that slice is so tiny to make his hands look bigger?

YES, CANADA, WE GET IT ALREADY. YOU HAVE IT TOGETHER AND WE DO NOT AND YOUR RELATIVE PROGRESSIVISM AND REASONABLENESS IN ALL THINGS MAKES US LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF PRIMATIVE, BUMBLING TODDLER BIGOTS.

Lacy, *gently* wafting curtains...

Don’t forget, they could hear faint music on the scans too! Several scientist and archaeologists have theories that this may be inside:

Holy shit you’re a moron. She isn’t “shutting him down,” in that she’s not saying “Stop being a creepy fucking asshole, asshole,” because insulting a source isn’t a very good way to keep a source, even if he deserves it. But it is obvious she’s not willing to go back to his apartment to get fucking gang banged since ev…

That’s not a double standard, unless people that are against catcalling are fine with it when women do it. When have you ever heard people standing up for the [largely imaginary] women that catcall? This is what’s known in the biz as a “strawman argument.”

I’m pregnant right now, and I have a list of books I’m excited to introduce to my future child - so far the list is A Wrinkle in Time (and the sequels, and everything by Madeline L’Engle), Harry Potter, and The Giver (and possibly the sequels, and everything by Lois Lowry).

Now that I’ve seen the fabled Jeremy, Adnan’s new defense attorney, I can understand why Undisclosed’s Susan Simpson is fangirling him so hard.

am p upset rn, not gonna lie

It only works if you have a really big letter.

Don did it!