“I had a “Presentation” bouquet, the type you cradle in your arms, for my Fall wedding. I put it on my Father’s grave...he had died that spring.”

She bought the kangaroos from a broker - she didn’t rescue them off the side of the road.

That’s what I got when I had mine 10 years ago - Miralax (which was prescription at the time) and dulcolax. MUCH better, though I couldn’t drink that last glass of miralax-gatorade cocktail. *hurk*

If you've ever had a colonoscopy and been giving a giant jug of gross, thick liquid to drink the day before (I think it’s called Go-lightly), you drank yourself a whole gallon of PEG. Bottoms up!

Now if only we can get some more of that design savvy in their plus-size offerings...

*insert sad trombone*

I once texted a picture of my (very exposed) cleavage to a guy I had just started dating. Turns out, there was some kind of weird issue with his google voice? web-number? thing? And it went to the wrong person. Who immediately started texting me back:

Black Widow is always hot.

Yussss!

This must be why some of my older relatives thought that if they ground the nuts up fine enough for the cookies, I wouldn’t notice they were there, and wouldn’t get sick.

More like “I feel yer bra”

Hold our own “Hunger Games” to whittle down the number of people we love?

From your linked story, looks like the opposite - he wanted the rough sex and threesomes, and she did not.

How about Something that is technically on your registry but not actually the item on your registry?

They can grant additional powers to the FDA all they want, but unless they do an equivalent bump in FDA budget, it’s not worth a damn.

I really must be going. I have some letters to write.

She rode that rape to celebrity! With all that sweet rape money!

You look at the dismal, mostly black and grey, plus size offerings that most stores shill (online, and reluctantly so) and then tell me that LP is ugly. I would love to have some brighter colors in my wardrobe. Bonus points if my fat ass wearing bright LP prints offends someone else’s delicate sensibilities.…