And don't forget the Philadelphia Museum of Art, which is genuinely world class. Also, it's pretty great to go up in the tower on City Hall. However, Liberty Bell, schmiberty bell.

Big ups to Phila!

"I do not think your name means what you think it means."

My best family name: Liberty Independence Jones. Crazy non-Puritan southern insanity.

I live in New England and I love crazy Puritan names. So I'm in a good place with my life. And a name that I have encountered on a few tombstones, and as the middle name of a coworker (a family tradition that all the first born girls bear) is Relief. Pretty sweet.

"A good name is a thread tyed about the finger, to make us mindful of the errand we came into the world to do for our Master." -some Puritan dude. Love this quote and have it on my wall.

Who is the "nerdish, whirling-dervish" Russell Brand is dating? Is it a) Florence or b) the Machine?

For some reason, that is a kind of attention that I would find almost unbearable. By the end of my wedding day, I was ready for the party to go on, but for people to stop...looking...at...me. For this man, I feel joy, but also embarrassment.

Precisely.

That is one tired pussy.

That is without question a nosejob.

I believe it is spelled The Man.

Sara Gilbert also got a disfiguring nose job at the height of her career, so she might not be the best person to give an honest assessment.

On behalf of the feral badger community, who have retained me as their counsel, I ask that you cease and desist making inflammatory and offensive comparisons re: feral badger behavior. Feral badgers want you to know that they would NEVER take off mattress covers.

I hate to agree with the hated Paltron* on something, but I, too, have given up on Vanity Fair. In my case, it's not because they did an unflattering story on me, but because if they put fucking Princess Diana and her life about which I did not care when it was happening and time has only made me give less of a fuck…

I thought raccoons were cute until one of them killed two of my turkeys. One it ate much of, the other it just killed, apparently for no reason. The third turkey was totally unscathed and didn't appear to have one iota of PTSD.

Her biscuits were burning. She'll get back to you later.

Fuck this whole thing. Fuck it right in the fuck hole.

Are they...making out? That is fifty shades of fucked up, yo.

Might've made 'em say that pilgrim's prayer a few too many times, though.