Who has sex under a parachute? I mean, really.

She was her glasses.

Seriously?

"I'm just a sleepy mama with her babe."

In a related irritant, women calling their children "babes." Gaaa.

Yea verily and again I sayeth, I believe Mr. Baldwin is what they call a "dry drunk." It makes so much sense, you guys.

Her baby is still attached to it's placenta, too.

Also, I think Heather Havrilevsky hung the moon, as advice column people go. She has a new advice column on Hairpin (I think?) but her old one is still readable at rabbitblog.com. She's a fucking genius.

I will defend Cary Tennis to the death. I let my salon.com subscription lapse but I still go through all sorts of crazy hoops to read his column. I even wrote to him once (and received genuinely wise advice...and some of the most horrifying comments in the comments section that I could even imagine). I don't think…

I think a trip to 7/11 with Sean Young would probably end badly. She always seemed to be a bit of a loon.

True, true. I read more after I posted, and realized he had admitted guilt. I could see how to edit my comment but not remove it, and thusly, gave up in frustration.

I'm just going to say this: I think John Mayer is scorching hot. I think he talks too much and said some racial shit that sounded gross, but somehow...I believe he has a good heart, and you could do worse than to lose your virginity to him. I know he is reviled here on The Jez Rez, but, well, I gotta speak my mind. …

You may hate "only god can judge me," but you might LOVE this.

I have a certain fondness for HG. Maybe it was left over from Drugstore Cowboy....

As ugly as it was of Chelsea Handler to speculate that Mlle. Swift has not yet "known" a man...I think she might be onto something. I could totes see Swiftasauraus Rex saving it for her rose petal strewn, thousand-becandled, bespoke Chantilly lace dress wearing nuptials. I feel like TS needs a bender, with maybe…

From a legal standpoint, I'm not sure you're allowed to, though. Theoretically, Señor Saatchi could sue Gawker Inc for defamation for not using the ol' "alleged."

I heart thee.

"James Woods' girlfriend is embryonic."

Were I Ms. Swift, I would make "the whorish face of doomed America" my demanded form of address (see: King of Pop/Godfather of Soul/Her Majesty).

Sweaty cry potato is the greatest thing that has happened to me today. Possibly all month.