Oktoberfest was the only time I ever saw German adult people knee-walking drunk in the year that my husband and I spent in that most wonderful of countries. I didn't care for it.

(I believe he is actually British/Swazi)

You have written my favorite sentence of the day, and it is only 9:30 a.m. I heart you.

I will think of this story the next time I enjoy a blazing hot shower. I'm glad your fortunes changed, and I hope you told that home ec teacher how much that meant. Damn it, my allergies are acting up again.

His remark to the Westboro Baptist arseholes that "Gandhi? 'E was doin' the best 'e could!" has now become something my mother and I say at every opportunity

Some years ago, while I was walking down the street with the man I later married, a bunch of dudes in a car yelled something that could have been anything, really, not probably a cat call, and my now husbandman took off running after their car and I was literally holding onto the back of his pants, digging my heels…

Also, unlike Amanda Bynes, she's, um, how you say, talented. Surely that will help in some way.

They used to actually cut the pelvic arch in this situation. Way back in the day. At least, I think I remember reading that once.

That is beyond adorable.

That was where I got stuck, too. I want to know you. LIKE IN THE BIBLE.

I loved Bottle Rocket, Rushmore and Tennenbaums. Ever since then, his movies have made me want to cock punch him. And I think my grrrrr is grrrrr-ier because of how much I loved his first three.

It has its own credit card!

This is what I wanted to say, only more bettered

Right on, MP. Right the fuck on.

I'm with you 100% and also? TF had a lot of time to fill, and this was a topical joke. I don't think she meant anything deep and harmful thereby.

Loretta and Dolly have been staples of my life for years, to the point where I think I forgot they were "country." Will check out the other suggestions! Thanks, missy!

The one about the house she grew up in? I was at the gym, and I had headphones on, and I was getting ready to shower, standing in the changing area trying not to do that gasping crying thing. You've given me a list of things with which to cleanse my tear ducts!

Although apparently he advocated killing all the native Americans, so that's not so good.

...and it turns out it was made on a 3-d printer.