there are so many things wrong here.

Those names are the worst. Jesus.

and those PEOPLE

these NAMES

UGH.

A friend of mine recently reminded me of a sleepover at our third friends house (when we were 11) where the parents had really loud sex while we were trying to sleep then our friend got up when we heard them finish and said “I like to get them water when they’re done, they’ll be so thirsty.” Um WTF, I’d blocked that…

I dunno, my parents never told us WHEN they were doing it but my mom never hid the fact they had a sexual relationship. Not in a gross way it just was.

And I kind of like that I grew up with an idea of what a well rounded healthy relationship looked like. It made sex less of a shameful thing.

That’s why kids under five take naps. Five to ten, put on a movie and leave the room. After ten, your children don’t even want to be around you and don’t need much explanation if you want to hang out in your own room.

I find that code alarming because as a kid, I totally would have tried to eavesdrop if my parents told me that they needed to go talk about Christmas.

We use “talk about Christmas” as a code for some reason, but it’s more because we think it’s funny than because we’re trying to fool the kid.

Somebody needs to get this delicate flower into a safe space.