I'm going to reserve my outrage for a few days until we get the inevitable "It was a prank/fake/viral marketing" announcement.

Sharper denies the charges, and claims that he had consensual sex with one of the alleged victims, and has no idea who the other is.

Trang Pak is a grotsky little biotch

I can't decide whether that prosthesis maker/SFX person needs a psychiatric evaluation or a raise or both.

That's an interesting symptom.

Oh yeah, synopses, right.

Wow, surgeon minifig is goddamn genius.

And since nobody made a similar map for the state of Mississippi:

I probably won't pay for the PayPerView, but I'd gladly chip in a few bucks to take a couple swings at Zimmerman with a baseball bat/golf club/pipe wrench/whatever came next in line in the Airplane movie.

Do we really need this?

And you can trade in $20 of winning lottery tickets for the Florida Panthers, with a face value of $25.72.

I love the tiny raised eyebrow she gives Dad, like, I DARE you to say no, dude.

Can we start a best shitty/cheap-ass pizza discussion? Because this is always fun with my friends.

So when's the party?

Fortunately the other team was just a load of whites.

You're wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong.

How odd. When I was a kid, there was always this puppy who would pester my dad, who just wanted to sit in his barn alone all day getting drunk on Budweiser. My dad would throw him out in a fit, but that damned puppy kept coming back. Just like the ad, my dad even gave the puppy away to strangers so he could get drunk…

I support the theory that the red part was actually ripped away by a third hand that came from the grassy crotch.

Geez, what a thug. He just said he goes into the strip club and doesn't even tip.

This is like providing people with a guideline for how often to shave without paying any mind to how densely or quickly their body hair grows. The frequency with which a person needs to shower is about his or her hair more than anything, I've concluded, and perhaps secondarily an individual's sweating habits, the…