Because women like me (size 12, brunette, chipped teeth) aren't the kind of women that count to them.

Apparently, the rest of us don't exist, and I honestly can't tell if that's better or worse.

Only someone with no sense of humor would think that's funny.

If that was his only problem, he would have done what all the others do: grown a neckbeard, gotten a fedora, and posted on Return of Kings.

I don't even kind of get the concept of edible diamonds. Partly because I'm just picturing the process of shitting them out...

OMG DON'T BE ABLEIST AND MOCK MY SPELLING

With the exception of #1, you wrote this list TO TROLL ME AND FOR NO OTHER REASON I KNOW IT. Rasinets, Swedish Fish, Charleston Chews... THOSE ARE THE SHIT.

CUE THE APPLAUSE GIFS.

EVEN THE BACKGROUND OF THE PICTURES IS EARLY 90S SCHOOL PICS.

*Clasps the golden wine bottle, wipes away tears* I'd like to thank my parents, who have given me the genes of an alcoholic and the denial of the Irish, I'd like to thank Whole Foods for starting their own version of three buck chuck, and most importantly, I'd like to thank my friends, for cheering me on when I…

THANK YOU FOR THE SCRUBS REFERENCE

Yes, all over the world, people are weeping and feeling marginalized because of the inclusion of screen print cakes on this list.

Yeah, some of them have to actually be funny.

DON'T USE THAT WORD THAT'S OUR WORD. Also, as a native Masshole from a town that also carries lobster ice cream (and the person who suggested lobster ice cream!) it's only the tourists back home who eat it too.

WE LOVE YOU AND ALL SMORES. Colin is just being a poop head.

He's trying to change your mind about pandas

THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING EVER.

I love the idea of this being the new JFK.

This lady in the lady corner agrees.

THOU SHALT NOT WORSHIP FALSE WAFFLES