Mr. Trout, I think you buried the lede here. CHILIS HAS SOMETHING CALLED CRISPY CHICKEN CRISPERS???? THAT IS A TRAVESTY AND AN INSULT TO ALL SYNONYMS. (I have never eaten at a Chilis. Or an Applebees. Or anything else that describes itself as a "neighborhood" restaurant where the neighborhood in question would look…

Yeah, but this goes beyond rape in the lyrics. I don't mean a TW, I just mean a "hey, these lyrics are fucking fucked up to high hell, tread lightly."

When I was a little girl, my dad took me to KC with him (his home town) tok me to State Line road and said, "girl, if you're from that side of the road you're from Missouri, if you're from that side, you're a sonofabitch." Apparently, his father imparted the same wisdom to him as a child.

I know Gawker media doesn't do trigger warnings, but MAAAAAAYBE something in here about a warning about the incredibly vile/disturbing/shower needing after nature of these lyrics?

Minus the homophobic slurs, is it wrong that I feel a level of pride for the Masshole bros? MASSHOLE4LYFE.

I think if you eat enough triple baconators, you just BECOME your own small country. #fatshaming

BE GONE, PINK HAT!

IT WILL BE MY PROUDEST MOMENT. AND PROBS THE ONE THAT I'LL PUT IN THE LAW SCHOOL YEARBOOK, IF WE HAVE SUCH A THING.

Yup yup yup, I feel like this is what a lot of people who think being bi isn't a "real" thing think it is. Or that if I sleep with a woman, it's not cheating on a man. "Let her have her fun, she'll be back, women NEED men."

Aww, you're making me blush!

Also, I said it on Facebook, but I'm saying it here: I'm going to make a trophy, fill it with wine, and run around the Mall crying and drinking wine out of said trophy.

I'm a giver.

YES. MY DAIRY CLEANSE.

I TAKE FULL AND COMPLETE CREDIT FOR THIS.

Meh, there are degrees. I'm lactose intolerant and ignore the shit out of it, which interestingly enough leads to lots of shits.

So many worsts here.

............ that's disgusting. FUCK HIM SO HARD.

We are all in that boat. Tis hard.

I love you SO MUCH for being able to lay this out in a way that is both sensitive to victims of harassment (Including the First Lady of Crazy, if indeed she is) and reminds us.... this lady is this lady. She may well be telling the truth, buuuuuuuut the truth is not her strong suit. WAY TO STRADDLE A DIFFICULT LINE,…

What? There are PLENTY of Portland vegans who aren't cultured enough to know that pate is a meat product. GAWD, check your privilege, Mr. Trout!