Darth Emo more of a badass than Vader? You shut your filthy cunt mouth

If you won’t buy a used Ferrari once owned by a terrible person, you will never buy a used Ferrari.

The Quicker Fucker Upper

To be fair, Philip Rivers’ kids had clarinet lessons that day.

Tom, should you focus on his penis when his balls are the real story? I understand the confusion since there’s not a vas deferens between the two.

a reminder to everyone: risk of death is 100 percent

holy shit! You can buy dogs that bite Lena Dunham? Sign me up.

I can’t wait to never be able to get one ever

Jokes on you, I live in bumble fuck.

I was curious so I tried to do the math. Uber takes 20% off the top of the 632, so you’re left with 500 bucks, plus the 300 tip so that’s roughly $800.

Why does Steph want to give Lebron the Run-A-Round? It seems like a sure fire way to speed things up, but all it does is slow him down.

Tiger Woods: [tries walking straight line, but keeps veering off to one side or the other]

Some people will do anything to get a shot at a wet beaver.

No, it’s how shitty bosses in predatory companies operate.

Delegation is the backbone of leadership. Micromanagement is the bane.

If your boss is like this:

1. Please seek other employment, it’s not healthy and
2. they are neither a good boss nor a good leader

Sometimes when you order fish, you get the whole fish, head and all. Other times when you order fish, it comes already deboned and you can dive right in. Over time I learned that when you order fish at a restaurant it can arrive in a number of forms, and that’s just the way it is. Of course I had been exposed to that…

- Every company, ever.

All things considered this is actually pretty cool and good?

The better question is why we don’t just stay on DST permanently. Winter is miserable regardless.

In 2017, I believe we call this sort of tone “presidential.”