Look, I know what you guys are going to say

Good for you—that method worked for you. I could pat myself on the back, too, for trying the Snowball method, being logical enough to work with my psychology rather than against it, persisting with it, and busting my debt a long time ago. But just because something worked for me doesn’t mean every other method is…

You think that’s bad? Our parents only gave us $5 in a year, and they forced us to hitch a ride to NYC and use our wits to make the money grow on Wall Street. You wouldn’t believe how that dream ultimately fell through.

: )

Alas, too late I hereby introduce you to the concept of “don’t be a dick.”

If you made raisin cookies, it’s possible that they went quickly because someone threw them all in the trash to save their poor coworkers from them.

There are 2 other types that a bit more Buddhist in flavor, but very powerful, IMO.

Burning seems harsh. Can’t we first just toss him in a lake and see if he floats?

That tactic sounds less to me like giving someone freedom in their response and more like a passive-aggressive form of guilty tripping someone. Not saying it won’t work, it just doesn’t sound like a method I’d be comfortable using most of the time.

Are you...me?

Thank god you fixed that. Crisis averted. Whew.

The floor is lava!

This is the kind of quality writing our country deserves.

I would suggest you squirt enough in your mouth that it feels like a shot glass worth, then spit that in your hands and rub it everywhere. That way you don’t have to carry a shot glass around.

Screw the flat belly! Go you! Losing 76 pounds in 15 months is no small feat!! Congratulations and keep up the good work!

And most importantly, you get to be self righteous in comment threads about engagement rings. And who can put a price on that?

This is much better advice than the Boyz-N-The-Hood method which involves reaching back like a pimp and slapping the ho.

Simply put: “P” means “play.” Or, if you have a manual transmission, don’t even think about playing until you’ve yanked the parking brake.

I was contemplating making this exact same comment.

Or that. Yes. Or that.

I want a DIY mouse trap that kills them in such a way that they cry out little mouse squeaks that tell all the mice to run like hell and write mouse warnings on the outside of my house that will scare away mice for years to come; some Dante’s Inferno type shit.