It’s still hilarious though.

Five Guys got ridiculously priced for a non-sit down restaurant. Once the bill was very nearly $30 for two people (and I got the little cheeseburger and little fries, to boot) it made the food seem pathetic. For $30 I don’t want to be fishing limp fries out of an oily paper sack or getting my own soda. I haven’t gone…

A 30,000 purse? Buy her a new one and put her head in it.

It’s hard to put into words just exactly what Deadspin’s cancellation means to the broader sports universe, but I will try: Things are now better.

Soup and a grilled cheese is a meal.

Unless you’re talking about a stew (which Kate excludes here...so no), or you’re 85 years old, soup is not a goddamn meal. And no, “just eat more soup” is not a valid solution.  Ever hear of “soup belly” from just flat out having too much liquids in your food?  I will tire of soup long before I’m actually satiated.

I agree with Kate and Kenny Bania on this one. When paired with bread and salad a hearty soup is a meal. Just on its own? Nope.

Calling an action film “McQ” almost puts it in the territory of 70s martial arts films that starred Bruce Le.

San Francisco shouldn’t be a surprise. The most uptight people I have met come from that city.

The Gout is the only acceptable phrasing. While reading the article, I kept silently inserting “the” in front of every gout mention.

I think it’s horrible enough to be called THE gout. The first time I had it was in my right ankle and damn, it was bad.

+1 for “the gout”

I’m at the point that I can only refer to it as THE gout.

If you can, get the audio book. It’s just bass.

Yeah, the pro bowl really isn’t a barometer of success. I think you were in the pro bowl last year.

According to Revolutionary Analytics the odds of missing a 41 yard field goal is about 60%. I can’t imagine the odds of fumbling are also at 60%. https://blog.revolutionanalytics.com/2013/01/chances-of-making-an-nfl-field-goal.html

Easy to be against pre marital sex after youve had a thousand lifetimes worth of it. 

Bob Seager- the Bruce of Michigan

Outrageous Omission:

Alright, let me just say this once so everyone knows the truth: just because something is complex and difficult, doesn’t mean it sounds good. I guess what I’m trying to say is that STEELY DAN SUCKS SHIT