7. The person who designed the airplane probably wears a short-sleeve dress shirt.

So it reads like everything Hamilton writes?

id be a millionaire if i just had the $50 to put on a 12 way parlay

I’ll show you Golden Taint. In your face.

Has a New Yorker ever shared their opinion on the difference between bagels in NY and bagels in other cities? I’d be very interested to hear what they think!

Bears fans still feel some insane sense of entitlement because the Bears somehow put together an almost-perfect season. It’s literally been 30 years, log off already.

Then wake up the next morning and vow to find exciting new topics of conversation that do not involve goats, Harry Caray, or memorable encounters with Ryne Sandberg.

Would something like Jamberry, Origami Owl, Keep, ItWorks!, etc fall under the ‘wealth building’ category? Because holy shit. I would estimate about 20% of my SAHM friends now sell for one of those companies and they are constantly trying to make people hold parties or sign on under them. They spent money to buy…

If the way coffee shop employees clean out bathrooms is any indication...

Funny enough, her accent in that movie was the same one she’s peddling now.

Welcome to the brave new world brought upon us by the cord cutters. They wanted a la carte, they’re getting a la carte. And they’re taking everyone with them, whether they want to or not.

At this guy’s age, dressing as a Viagra bottle seems more appropriate.

Bears Consultant: You see, what we’re trying to do is get a feeling for how people spend their time at work so if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Jay Cutler: Yeah.
Consultant: Great.
Cutler: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way John Fox…

You should forgive them for your sake, but, as I am sure you have figured out, you don’t put yourself in a position again where they can do whatever it is they are doing. They have to change.

so, Lester got a 6 ball strikeout

Yeah, Seeing the perfect examples of Lester not getting 8-inches off the plate, then suddenly getting them for a called 3rd strike in a perplexed batter, and then not getting it again when he cussed about it was just ugh-inducing.

It gets really old when white women—

Amy Schumer shows how hard it is to stop having a career when you are a Jewish American Princess.

I use the same strategy with my cocaine usage. Never do the first line until you are halfway thru the first stripper.

#allpenisesmatter