If you run into an asshole in the morning, then you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day then you’re the asshole.

“You have to laugh at it. It was funny in the beginning to get everyone all mad. People spend too much time on the internet caring about stupid shit and comment their asses off and don’t realize it’s not real.”

We have found the one thing that skinheads and illegal aliens can bond over, though.

Looking forward to the sequel ‘Inside Doug Llewelyn’.

*scrolls down list looking for zoolander*

Is there anything else that is so great to watch in the comfort of your home that is also so awful to see in person as NFL football? Maybe porn?

Not to be indelicate, but if you’re calling your own grandmother <<a crazy deplorable racist monster thug who hates America and makes your flesh crawl>> solely because she’s voting for someone you don’t like, you’re a few pancakes short of a stack yourself.

You mean: more flippant remarks here in Jezebel’s comment section. Ugh people.

I never bought her Nasty Gal genesis tale, that she found two Chanel bags in a thrift store for $4 a piece, sold them on eBay for $5,000 each and invested the proceeds to start her eBay retail business. Uh-huh. And I once found a draft of the Declaration of Independence in a thrift store.

I can’t argue with Jesus and Ben Franklin. For evidence, may I present Thurston Howell III, conniving millionaire.

Actually, given that Kara’s a dipshit, in this case she would probably call it “mansplaining.”

I would also root for them if somehow they ended up playing the Dallas Cowboys... but then I would even root for the Yankees if they were playing the Dallas Cowboys....

No, no I won’t. She’s musically irrelevant, and only gets press because of her more famous sister otherwise she would have hit singles and albums, along with sellout shows...which she doesn’t. How many music awards does she have? How many instruments does she play?

(sigh)

Me: What’s so special about this game anyway? It’s just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Michigan and Ohio State. They added on to their stadium, so we built a bigger stadium addition. They made the world’s largest pizza, so we burnt down their student union.

I believe he’s referring to Kim’s ass.

This is the response I should have come up with. Boston deserves nothing, as they are the second worst sports region in the U.S. (nipping at New Yorks heels; fuck the Sox, Patriots and Celtics).

What Would It Take for a Sex Robot to Pass a Turing Test?

I believe the police are trained to return fire when fired upon.

Hate to break this to you sporto,but the guy in the suit, was (so not to further roil your sensitive feelings). A “person of color”.