I’d tip the waiter $500 to have the sickest staff person in the restaurant (since their employers aren’t required to provide paid sick days because of assholes like Cruz) handle his food.

Cropdust their table harder than that scene in Hitchcock’s North By Northwest.

He’s only 45? I guess with his combination of haircut and (lack of) sartorial sense, he’d always seemed at least 50 to me. Maybe 60.

Second rule of Fight Club is never fight Martha Stewart.

WWRD?

Martha should never apologise for speaking the truth. The Countess is amusing to watch but she’s basically basic. Martha is one of a kind and a total ballsy bitch (which I mean in the most complimentary way. Love her).

How was Martha wrong, except she should have said Z list?

New kinja burner handle: Cindy DuPre, Loan Officer

“Why is this family famous?”

Well whatever village he belongs to, it's high time that they came by to pick up their idiot.

Strangulation is a class D violent felony offense, punishable by up to seven years in prison

It’s worse than not knowing First Amendment doctrine and all the Supreme Court’s free speech case law. Even when talking about free speech the principle as opposed to free speech the legal right embodied in the Constitution, these people get it wrong. No reasonable definition of free speech is consistent with the…

Yes. And there are numerous less well-known freedoms as well.

Every time Raven Symone says something, I think I lose an IQ point. That’s not cool guys, I collect IQ points like Precious Moments figurines!

Fun fact: In America we also have Freedom of the Press, which means you can’t legally get in trouble for beating someone to death with a rolled up newspaper.

THE CONSTITUTION

Raven-Symone is so fucking stupid she makes my brain hurt.

Unless she was eating this much cheese daily, I think Khloe might be misattributing the cause of her weight loss.

Must...resist...urge...to joke...