Close. Very close. You definitely want to give bullshit answers designed to throw them off. Anger won’t work, though. You need sadness. No matter what they ask, get a little bit teary eyed and demur as though they just reminded you of something horrible you’d rather not think about. A) They’ll tip bigger as an apology…

I whitelisted kinja.com but left everything else blocked. It seems to let the comments load without letting the ads through.

The easiest way to avoid the World Trade Center would be to set it somewhere other than New York. Like LA, or space.

I believe the USS Cooter was sunk by the HMS Fanny while sailing through the Birth Canal.

From what I saw in my time there, the white people harass the Somalis because they’re black, the black people harass the Somalis because they’re African not African American, and then the white people really harass the Somalis because they think the black people gave them permission. The Hmong get caught in a similar…

Only if that big blue ox was a brahma bull.

Zuckerberg

Once, when I was a kid, I got home from school only to discover that the dog had puked on the carpet. He must have done it early in the morning because the vomit pile had had plenty of time to cool off and the smell had taken over the room. We were out of paper towels, so I had to use kleenex to clean it. They were…

You need to enhance the community with pawn shops and payday loan places so the locals can afford it when you put in the race track and strip bars.

Green Goblin is far too generous. He’s more like Sentinel. Not a Marvel Sentinel, either. The Image Sentinel. The one that was Rob Liefeld’s blatant attempt to make his own Iron Man, but it came out all desperate and pathetic.

How obscene is it that he could have helped years ago but he ignored it until he was in desperate need of good publicity?

Mail her 2,000 pennies.

As much as I enjoy the internet, I think I’ll stay where there’s water.

The men had approximately $5,600 in cash on them, but authorities soon found out the two men, along with other partners, had taken $63,200 from the machine. Five days earlier, the operation had jackpotted $63,820 from an ATM in Rhode Island.

“I have always taken action in best interests of truth, transparency and investors.” says man who accused some guy of being a pedophile based on nothing more than a bruised ego and then doubled down on the accusation even after stock prices took a hit over it.

The “view as” feature has since been turned off, and Facebook’s VP of Product, Guy Rosen, stated that the company is working alongside law enforcement and the FBI to gather more information. Responding to questions from reporters, Rosen said, “this is clearly a breach of trust and we take this very seriously.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about how he seemed less like he was doing ‘Han’ and more like he was doing ‘Bill Hader doing ‘Han’’.

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