More old-timey? Licorice pipes.

You’re a fucking Randy. Nobody likes a Randy.

Cheese is a daytime snack. After midnight is the time for unheated cans of corn.

Portion control has no place after midnight.

Portion control has no place after midnight.

...but the love interest of a C-B list (at the time) Marvel character was never, ever going to be a meaty enough of a role for an Academy Award winning actress.

I once knew a cat that was raised among dogs that enjoyed swimming and rolling in mud puddles, but never groomed itself. In fairness, there’s a better-than-average chance the filthy little thing was brain damaged.

As to #3, she knows. They all know.

I’m sure they work well. No self-respecting hen would be seen with the nerd in the trousers.

On the other hand...

No. I call those people ‘the Insistence’. Omarosa can go sit with Stormy Daniels.

If I saw an untitled picture of those three, I’d probably have assumed that they were mall cops being charged with the sexual assault of an underage shoplifter. 

She’s the dog’s mom. To be a dog’s mom, you must be a dog. The restaurant doesn’t allow dogs. She should be banned.

False. Children are raccoons. They don’t become human until they’re old enough to drink.

Hank Hill: I mean, I think it’s cute that you call it ‘spa-Peggy and meatballs’, but, you know, it’s just noodles and tomato sauce and balls of meat.

Having the bowel control of an infant is not considered “regular”.

I’m not sure. I’ve never Benin this situation before.

So basically he’s admitting Trump’s version of the truth isn’t the actual truth.

Keep getting mad. Impotent rage is almost as good as an actual point.