Do you shit the bed every time you oversleep?

If you can’t go 10 hours without shitting, you may need to see a doctor.

Think of them as sushi and eat them raw. Extremely raw.

Because their evil is kept out of sight?

Trump couldn’t get through a game of Hi Ho! Cherry-O without getting one of the pieces stuck up his nose.

No. I think your insistence that mid-rare is the only way a steak should be cooked, as if there is an objectively correct answer to a subjective question, is insecurity. It also flies in the face of all your crap about being adventurous and having new experiences. 

Bullshit. You need a chef to make your decisions for you and you need everyone else to agree with that decision. That’s insecurity. If you trusted your own senses, you’d have no reason to give a fuck what other people are doing.

“This random guy over here knows more about the way my brain interprets flavors than I do!” is EXACTLY why restaurants exist, you fucking moron.

Every cat should be named Dick.

I don’t like them either. Too many choices. It takes forever to make a proper suicide.

The swelling has gone down since he went to rehab.

Meet the Diddler

“According to the Guardian, she writes that she felt “a growing realization that Donald Trump was no longer going to pay her to pretend that he is not indeed a racist, a bigot and a misogynist.”

Fucktard cop Former Fucktard cop Once and Future Fucktard cop

“It sucks even more when you’re using Microsoft Edge” is a rider that could follow any statement. 

If your knife is turning big pieces into little pieces, you aren’t doing it wrong.

Left-handed beef is rare. Sinisteer are hard to find.

I’m getting more of a Mr Satan vibe.

I usually advise people to not take my advice. I’m not sure how I should go about following that one.