A steelworkers union represents the people who represent the steel mills. That doesn’t mean they represent the steel mills. It is pretty much the opposite.

Doubtful. They can’t point out any other country we’ve bombed.

Does he want to bring the 80s back or does the sundowning pudknob think they’re still happening?

Would a police union be considered to be part of the government? I mean, police unions are corrupt, bigoted, and actively harmful to society, and that all points to “yes”. But they aren’t taxpayer funded. Maybe, despite their membership, they’re more of an independent “NRA” kind of evil.

Agreed. To my mind, these... things... don’t even qualify as hot dogs. They’re just small bologna.

“Serving in Afghanistan was so traumatic that I took up crime to feel alive like I haven’t felt since Afghanistan.”

He should have thrown a magazine in the aisle to distract the cops.

Peanut Butter. Give it a few seconds to melt.

Fact: Anyone who calls themselves a purist is horrid and a waste of valuable space in society.

I hit a squirrel with my car last week. It was in the middle of the street having sex with the corpse of a squirrel that had been run over earlier. 

Forget about Jokgu. Mike is the only chicken anyone needs to know about.

Eating cookies gets old if you do it every day. I wouldn’t start doomsaying if we had a chocolate chip stockpile.

As someone who ate plenty of government cheese sandwiches in the 80s, I miss eating government cheese sandwiches. They were wonderfully terrible. It was like eating a William Shatner song.

I’ve been to cleaner plants that were literally bagging dirt.

The number of extended media stories a Star Wars movie produces is not an indicator of quality. It’s an indicator of how long ago the movie came out. Given a decade or two, every character who had two seconds of screen time will be given a fully fleshed out back story and a series of further adventures. The Ewok…

The real questions here are “who was his lunch date?”, “what was his lunch date bribing him for?”, and “how much?”.

Amazing how the Catholic version of repentance always means confess to the church and make amends to the church. The people you actually hurt can just fuck themselves, I guess.

Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin.

How did she fall back first? Was she crab-walking through the ceiling?

The best part is 7 seconds in. The part where he tries to get out the door by pushing his girlfriend into the cop.