Huh. I always thought Grease was about a guy who changed everything about himself to win a girl who was kinda dumb. TIL.

If your neighbor burns your brush pile so that he won’t have to see it from his patio, the solution is not to make a new brush pile. He can still see it from his patio. Burn the patio and there is no longer an issue.

I was going with Botulism. I’m not ready to concede just yet.

He’s made four movies explicitly about sports—Happy Gilmore, The Longest Yard, The Waterboy—

It’s what takes your dog to the vet.

The defining characteristic of Trump’s base is that they cannot tell the difference between shit and Shinola.

According to an attorney who represents the students, the 15 have been suspended indefinitely for one to two years

You disrespected the author and the subjects of the story by implying their thought processes were deficient. Since you aren’t treating everyone with respect, you aren’t obeying God. Perhaps you should take a vow of silence, oh holy one.

I’m not so sure that “Italian guy” and “vending machine” are synonymous.

Who needs all that when you can just grab ‘em by the Pyongsong?

Off topic, but why in the holy hell did everyone suddenly start saying “utilize” instead of “use”? “Utilize” means using something for a purpose other than the purpose for which it was intended. A vehicle isn’t utilizing a parking lot by parking in it. A vehicle would be utilizing a parking lot by doing doughnuts.

Do you also argue that the plural of “school bus” is “school bi”?

What happens when your smartass kid decides to lower the roof while his brother is sleeping up there?

It might not be Dutch. It could be alien.

So your review is basically “we’ll never know what Lord and Miller shot” followed by dozens of “that would have been better if Lord and Miller had shot it”s?

Would you prefer I said she was babysitting 1500 kids?

She’s fine. She’s just visiting Shelly Miscavige.

Maybe he thought it was a VW.

And when you think about how much cheating they’ve done, that can only mean someone else is cheating even more. “They can’t have a pair of aces! I’ve already got seven of them!”