It is, however, the ideal solution for colluding with a foreign power to undermine the foundations of democracy.

Make them run the Ankh-Morpork Postal Service.

You sound like Joe from Sideways Stories from Wayside School.

I use three seashells.

Unless you scrub your anus to clean room standards after every poo and never fart, you’re going to be washing feces around your shower floor. It’s a shower. It comes in contact with every disgusting thing that comes in contact with you.

I would argue that it’s less like them rubbing you the wrong way than it is like them giving you the creeps.

With great Bowdler comes great responsibility.

He tried to name himself “Asshole”, but Spider-Man changed it.

I knew of a place that still used one of those in the 90s. The machine was too old to make change, so they taped the change to the packs. They also had a soda machine like the one in the video, but it only had Tab. Tab sucks.

“ I’m hearing more and more people say the level of violence on video games is really shaping young people’s thoughts,” Trump said.

When Sheepinators are outlawed, only outlaws will have Sheepinators.

Her brain is overloading
It has a chocolate coating
Textbook case for Sigmund Freud
Caucazoid! Caucazoid!

Yet.

I prefer forward facing Simpsons to 3/4 facing South Park.

In fairness, Moe is supposed to be disturbingly ugly.

Happy Birthday, Helen?

If the universe wants Republicans to get the point, the universe should arrange a mass shooting at a country club.

Ted Cruz is Mayor Quimby dumb, because he’s entirely corrupt.

Agreed. She got to hand out the Deweys, but she never got to win one.

Whether naughty or nice, coal is a shit gift for a man who has literal tons of it. The message would be a clear FU.