I knew of a place that still used one of those in the 90s. The machine was too old to make change, so they taped the change to the packs. They also had a soda machine like the one in the video, but it only had Tab. Tab sucks.

“ I’m hearing more and more people say the level of violence on video games is really shaping young people’s thoughts,” Trump said.

When Sheepinators are outlawed, only outlaws will have Sheepinators.

Her brain is overloading
It has a chocolate coating
Textbook case for Sigmund Freud
Caucazoid! Caucazoid!

Yet.

I prefer forward facing Simpsons to 3/4 facing South Park.

In fairness, Moe is supposed to be disturbingly ugly.

Happy Birthday, Helen?

If the universe wants Republicans to get the point, the universe should arrange a mass shooting at a country club.

Ted Cruz is Mayor Quimby dumb, because he’s entirely corrupt.

Agreed. She got to hand out the Deweys, but she never got to win one.

Whether naughty or nice, coal is a shit gift for a man who has literal tons of it. The message would be a clear FU.

I, too, get hot and enjoy free feet. That is why I tuck the foot end of my sheet, not into the bed, but around a fan. It turns my bed into a wind tunnel. It feels amazing. Until you fart. It will arrive at your nose at an angry speed.

I thought you had to say “with all due respect”.

Since it is almost always applied to a Republican, I vote for “racist elephant call”.

It will really skillet in awards season if the fandom doesn’t wok away.

Don’t be silly. You can’t be related to a cartoon. He’s related to the guy the cartoon was based on. Maynard G Krebs.

Too bad he didn’t go with Nintendo Bloke. He wouldn’t have had to change his monogram.

President Oprah would almost definitely land us some form of Surgeon General Phil. Fuck that.