All the good ones end in an “o”!

Because people who have even one single thing going for them don’t need to pretend like their race makes them worthwhile.

Trump is a cat turd rolled in cheese dust and his followers will keep insisting he’s a cheeto until they’ve had to take a bite for themselves.

Neo–Nazi Torch Rally Ends in Violence in Charlottesville

This App Will Let You Know if You’ve Won the Powerball Jackpot

It even had a fully-fleshed out backstory for the gnomes and how they came to be that borrowed from traditional gnome-lore (yes, that’s a thing)...

I’m assume the excuse for these idiots is...genetics? Poor parenting?

Always bet on... the guy who is participating in the event he actually trained for.

I believe the term for a “slow rolling clusterfuck” is a “lethorgy”.

A children’s book about monsters turned me into a skeptic.

Since he seems litigious, I’ll just call him a “genocide aficionado”.

What genuine 3,000 game arcade cabinet could they have been counterfeiting?

I can’t pull that one off. I already told my folks that they’d better hope they die together because I’m only paying for one funeral and they’re both going in that box.

What worked for me was saying something to the effect of “Stop sending me these things. It’s hard enough to love you without you constantly reminding me what a piece of shit you are.”

(The White House said the report was inaccurate, but didn’t say how it was inaccurate.)

“We are in a position to provide the context because we have reviewed the officer’s body-worn camera, which recorded the encounter in its entirety,” Berg said.

Of course he’s holding his gun by his chest. How else is he supposed to block the view of his body camera? Jesus. He already has one camera contradicting his story, he doesn’t need two. Think for a second.

“Verbal government approval” has never meant less than it does now, and it meant nearly nothing before.

You are right if, and only if, you are using the wrong cheese and too little of it. This is a solution to a problem you shouldn’t be having.