[immolates self]

This attack on technology is worthy of being chronicled in an anthem by Rush!

Yeah, but my life pretty much sucks anyway.

I think that "special lining" in their cans is actually discarded cow placenta.

NO, NO, NO!

I might have a story after tonight's phone call….

Anything to keep him busy. Too busy for another Terminator.

Are you trying to claim that John Mayer doesn't rock???

Pfffft! I was anti-Grammys way before it was cool.

The police hauled her off stage.

I saw Shirley Manson take her top off once.

I'd call it more an unpopular fact.

I fell asleep during the second quarter and didn't wake up til overtime.

I believe it's short for "Cheese."

Think Yakkity Sax playing over a Holocaust documentary

There's got to be an AV Club joke around the name "Micachu".

A Female Deer?

AND NO WIRE HANGERS!! EVER!!!

It's what you get after a night of orange soda and hot pockets, so yeah, it is pretty nerdy.

If they really wanted to be cool, it would be the Kidz Choice Awardz.