Don't you know, a grown woman with a website called HelloGiggles is starting a FEMINIST REVOLUTION around bangs and make-up. Get on board with the movement!

I only say this because it is the only time in my life it will probably be so appropriate... but...

They were ALL jerks. The most unlikable group of people you'll ever love, haha.

I once went for a first date with someone I met on OKCupid. We didn't really click and not only did I not hear from him again, he deactivated his account. I was simultaneously ego-bruised and proud of my abilities to scare guys off.

I had a friendzoned person declare she had rejected me as a romantic interest. At first I was like, "wait, what? I don't think you get to play that card..."

Being rejected sucks. Being rejected by someone you never asked out is worse because it fucks with the way you perceive yourself in everyday situations with people for whom you don't have feelings that shouldn't be awkward. There are some upsides, though. For example, I learned a lot about about sexual harassment when…

That's hilarious! The first time I made out with someone he tried to pass me his gum. I spit it out in his face. He also got spit all over my chin.
He was a very bad kisser.

IT SUCKS. EVEN WHEN IT'S NOT ROMANTIC.

Not that I'm having that experience right now. Nope. Not me. Too cool for rejection.

That is frustrating, eff 'em and their inability to communicate and embrace the silence because it is their loss. Sooner or later this person will be the one reaching out and you can choose whether or not to respond.

Been there, definitely sucks. But when else can you use: "What? Me interested in you, surely you must be joking."

It's a popcorn dress! I bet it gets all tiny when she takes it off!

It's called fashion, look it up.

I think I just overdosed on the word "Baby" just from watching this.
Mariah still did it better!

I always think of Milhouse's parents.

Christopher Walken and a mop with googly eyes.

Almost but not quite as hilarious as Tyler Perry and Tyler Perry. PLEASE, CAN WE HAVE THIS?

And that would be the least weird thing about anything to do with the 50 Shades empire of bullshit.

When the Irish blew up pubs out of a desire for personal revenge and solidarity with oppressed countrymen, I was comfortable calling that terrorism, too. Going after individuals who have harmed you or yours can be vigilanteism; going after people who have no direct connection to make a point is something quite…

OMG. Wait. Fuck. I never thought of that. No. I mean really. I'm not messing with you. I literally NEVER even considered that as a way to keep memories. I have ONLY used tattoos as a way of remembering things. Now what am I gonna do? God damnit. Now I have all this stupid ink on my body. Are my parents…

I would have just completed the tattoo with -topher Columbus.