Listening to Nicki Minaj is hideous torture, too. I feel ya.

“when your little girl
asks you if she’s pretty
your heart will drop like a wineglass
on the hardwood floor
part of you will want to say
of course you are, don’t ever question it
and the other part
the part that is clawing at
you
will want to grab her by her shoulders
look straight into the wells of
her eyes until they echo…

Oh my god, I love your baby, where did you get it?!

That is the ugliest effing baby I have ever seen.

My grandmother used to say that whenever you met an ugly baby and didn't want to lie, you said "Now THAT'S a baby!"

One of the bonuses to not having sex is that you know your weird symptoms are not STDs!

You'd think so, but unfortunately, my children, H5N1 and B52 still seem to experience discrimination for some reason.

Tell him to go away. You aren't giving him any money.

Advice for beating anxiety while flying alone? I haven't flown in about 2 years and it was with my husband. I have only flown a handful of times before that and I was always with other people. I have to fly home in a few weeks for my friend's wedding and I just found out that my husband can't come so I'm freaking…

I know this is unrelated, but did Jez really find it necessary to post a photo of a snake next to the "SCARY SNAKE" headline?
The premise of the headline is that they are scary, why post a picture of something people will be scared at?

I'm being hypersensitive because I have a terrible phobia of them, and I quickly…

Beer and movies. If someone tells me they like Miller Lite and Epic Movie, we aren't going to be friends.

I'm not a snob about what kind of music you like, I just expect a music lover to have an appreciation of it. So you're good!

I'm a beer snob and I like Shock Top! Carry on.

Oh jeeze, where do I start? I'm a book snob, a music snob, a beer snob and tea snob. I will never call anyone out on these things, but if you tell me your favorite band is Dave Matthews Band, my opinion of you will be changed forever (unless I didn't have a great opinion of you to begin with).

Music and movies too. It comes with the territory of being a film and media studies student, as music and film are two areas I look at an awful lot. I agree with animals too.

I'm judgmental about people's email usage at work. Ugly templates? Huge, multicolored signature in a cursive font (it looks like handwriting, no one will know!!!)? Using too many smiley faces when it's not appropriate? Sounding like a dummy or a tool? Judging. you.

Hear hear! Bud/Coors is like having sex in a canoe... it's fucking close to water.

Bah, don't be ashamed of your knowledge. Own and embrace it. There are dozens of us!

let them eat cake!

Stand your ground! Everyone gets the same thing to be a good little sheep. If someone gives you shit over something as stupid as an iphone do what I do. Tell them I don't carry ready to wear.