Redacted cuz I'm dumb.

I fucking fiercely adore and admire Angelina Jolie, but this is just idiocy: "Can you imagine how much fun it must be to be one of their children? How grounded and happy they likely are in the consistent love of their parents and in the good works they see their parents doing?"

I'll reserve judgment until I get a good look at his trident.

Your reading comprehension skills are hilariously bad. For fuck's sake, it was a two sentence long comment and you managed to totally fail to grasp its meaning not once, but twice. I fear for your ability to successfully navigate an entire paragraph.

I can't figure out what's more obnoxious about your post: that you'd lose respect for someone over something so insanely fleeting and trivial, or that you began your comment with "Plot twist:".

If your respect is that easily lost, I doubt it's worth much anyway.

No one does a dirt bag like Lindy does a dirt bag. Let's pray she's just on vacation.

Okay, seriously, where is Lindy? (I mean no offense, Doug, but inquiring minds want to know.)

I will never be able to think of Ryan Lochte as anything other than a sex idiot.

Sally's mashed potatoes taste better. I think Anne is using instant, the lazy bitch.

You're the mystery number? Oh dear. I hate to tell you this, but I think you've got worms.

:O!

I don't blame her for being obsessed with me. I just wish she'd lay off all the beets. Some of those pictures are truly gruesome.

I don't like Anne Hathaway because she keeps sneaking into my house at night and filling my shoes with mashed potatoes. She also insists on texting me photos of all of her bowel movements. DAMN YOU, HATHAWAY.

I wish I'd known better, and had done this. Hoo boy, do I wish that.

Yup. Everyone's right. Stop where you are.

This just made me BOL (baaahahahaha out loud).

It's odd, but I dig it.

Dear god, I love that movie. I used to use it as a relationship litmus test. Not smart enough to follow the dialogue and plot of The Lion in Winter? Pass.