Why didn’t Leslie Jones take over?!?

Yes! Exactly! I don’t have kids yet but I already started having these conversations with my mom and she basically said, “ummm well I wouldn’t help all the time, I’m gonna be traveling!” To which I responded with 1. My sister-in-law isn’t gonna want let my mom visit when my brother has kids and 2. My brother is sure…

The cultural divide is strong here. The thought of not helping family is crazy to me. In the absence of some sort of abuse, not helping out is pretty sad and depressing.

Expecting 40 hours a week is ridiculous. But in a close family that lives near each other, I think occasional support and involvement is a legitimate request. Like the one day the nanny can’t work or whatever. My parents were always really weird about it, and they clearly didn’t want to do any sort of baby/toddler…

No one is obligated to do anything for family members, but it is pretty much the norm for family members to help each other out with various things

Wrong. My family was very, very different from this. My grandparents were always involved in raising us, as were my aunts and uncles. Raising kids was something the whole family participated in.

Funny how when some people are asked for the same help they received, or even a PORTION of the help they received, there’s excuses. I never expected my parents to buy me a house or watch my kids 24/7, but telling me they can’t help with college after buying a brand-fucking-new Harley was pretty rage inducing.

That’s what frustrated me so much with my family. My grandparents helped them a lot, expecting them to pay-it-forward, but my mother just can’t be bothered and my father only wants to do fun stuff with the kids, not actually help.
And yet when my grandfather has an appointment, I’m the one taking the day off work and…

Given that my grandparents watched me for free, I would be pretty pissed if I had kids and my parents refused to do the same.

My grandmother did it for my mom so I expect her to do the same. There would be whole weeks when she was on a business trip and we’d be with our gramma. It’s only fair, especially since she tells me all the time to respect family traditions. And she pushed me to get an advanced degree, so it’s time to pay the piper.

Yeah, the awkward positions both parents and grandparents are put into in these relationships are all caused by lack of affordable child care. I think many parents who do rely on grandparent-care might actually rather to drop their kids off at daycare. Clashes over childcare, discipline, the general…

Eh. Traditionally, prior to the nuclear family, multi-generational homes were the norm, and usually extended family around as well. Certainly, families pitched in and were expected to help watch children. However, we now expect all manner of support services families used to provide for each other to be provided by…

I’m a nanny myself, and I’ve been shocked by how easily some people will hand their kids off to me having met me maybe once. Guess they don’t have much of a choice though. There’s also the difficulties that people may not forsee, like when the nanny gets sick or car breaks down and you’re shit out of luck to get to…

We pay grandma the same as we paid the daycare center. Economically it’s a wash, but she does laundry too!

Lack of affordable child care in this country is simply insane.

Sounds about right. I mean, you’d hope that the grandparents would help, but if they’ve got full-time jobs then it’s not realistic to expect them to provide regular day-care.