In 8th grade I was writing a test on Macbeth. The question asked how Macbeth was born. I knew the answer was C-section, but I was trying to be extra smart about it and write out the full word. So instead of writing caesarean section I wrote circumcision, and my classmate who was marking the test for me, with kind…

My favorite story about a kid who can't spell goes like this:

Hey now, these situations are never just black and white.



I'll get my coat.

Years ago, some kids in my neighborhood, a brother and sister, were playing hide and seek. They were about 8 and 9 years old. I was sitting outside with the kids' mom and some other neighbors as the brother came running by us, telling his mom not to tell his sister where he hid (behind a tree a few feet away). A…

I don't know. We had to do an assignment when I was in sixth grade where we came up with positive adjectives to describe ourselves for every letter in our name and then hang the lists from the ceiling for parent-teacher night.

When I was in second grade, we read a chapter in Social Studies about machines. Having dutifully read my chapter, I raised my hand and started talking about wombs, and how they helped weave cloth.

I want to nominate, I challenge, Matthew, Adam, and (maybe) Chantalle. Ahhh! Fucking hell!

I'm a linguist by education and profession. Not sure I believe this. Not only because of the incorrect word, but because of the correct spelling of the wrong word. Quiz question is odd, too.

Mark, numbering the children? Love it! Speaks to your organizational skills!

No matter what she was actually saying, it's hilarious, because of exactly what you just mentioned. Imagine my surprise when I went to put my 3 year old daughter in my wife's car, accidentally hit the alarm button, and she immediately mumbles something that sounds like, "fuhk-kiddin' me?". I stopped the alarm, paused,…

Nope. She is definitely saying "Fuckin' hell."

While I would like to believe that this child said "fuck your mouth" did anyone else hear a cockney-ish "fucking hell"?

::chews ice aggressively::

He would probably point out that I am stuck in the oral phase and he also probably wouldn't be wrong.

translation...

Why did Kanye let her finish?

Last gal's friend is just trying to relate. New mom probably won't shut up about the kids, and so the topic of "taking care of an inferior being" ends up being the only common ground.

I would no longer be their friends. I would tell them to leave me alone and never try to contact me again. Racists are the worst of the worst.

All 3 of these friends are assholes.

This is my childhood dream come to life.

Reading this brings a smile to even these cold lips.