Unpopular opinion: I think Elsie Otter is actually kind of cute. I mean, I wouldn’t name my kid after an animal but it sort of works in this case. I’m just glad she didn't name her kid after a fruit or color.

Simply being in your 20’s is stupid. Voice of experience here. I was so dumb.

“Customers were evacuated from the San Luis Obispo store”

Y’all, they plagiarized the pitch. Gillian Flynn should sue.

Poor Bess Truman! They forgot to prepare her bottle for easy breakage.

For October, the NRA also suggests we defend ourselves and shoot off our own boobs.

White kids?

Until Season 6 when they killed Tara for no reason *CRIES FOREVER*

Yeah, but I hear the bears aren’t very well trained there.

Word. Byron was totally the Adam Levine Bro King of eighteen hundred and froze to death. Mary was all “more like eighteen hundred and bored to death.”

If you want to get phelgm out of your lungs and throat, then cough. #hackhack

Oh my God, people have started calling recipes “Food Hacks”

Personally I can’t talk about a few of my exes. Because when you invoke the name of a demon they tend to materialize out of thin air.

I suspect Adam Levine.

A Hamptons frozen yogurt spot refused to open their doors for Rihanna. OK, fine, they were technically closed at the time (it was 11:00PM and “staffers were packing up”)

I would be Peggy here. (We should all be Agent Carter, always).

YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH.
TARA WAS A GODDESS. >:(

illeagls sounds like an avian themed hip hop group

Is that Jensen Ackles during the brief window when casting him and Jared Padalecki as brothers would have made way more sense?

I would like to take this opportunity to confirm for the record that I am also a cat.