Someone will put a pillow over her head when she’s 79.

bet:

She was inescapable. *big pointing gesture* “Callll m’now!”

wow

fresh coffee grounds in my hamburgers

Also. w/SC sounds a hundred and ten percent better than white “chocolate”.

With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way in darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.

While drinking, sing all verses of “Just As I Am” on repeat until you feel the Holy Spirit touching you.

Cheese for everyone! I played though Shivering Isles three times; never quite bothered to get to the part where Sean Bean dies.

And the E in PUBE is a different font.

“Do we LOOK like we drink?!?!!”

You understand, really you do.

No, you just leave off the topping of grill marks, just like you can order things without the red, or any other nasty additions. Then it’s healthy.

I call “the dark lines are carcinogens.”

Capsaicin smoothies all round. At last, something that will put a dent in the death rate. Death was literally a death sentence as recently as the 90s.

It will be the Trump House, emblazoned in rhinestones.

A hard look to pull off, but dude is wearing that sunscreen.

Their preferred outcome— avoid paying anything to help the homeless.

Are you a blonde or a redhead?

whose restaurant “specializes in alkaline-friendly fare thanks to its $4,000 alkaline water machine.”