Seattle’s is covered in gum. We’re weird.

Does it have to be a wall? Because we have a bean.

I would like to drink a glass of wine with an animal today because I am fucking DONE with humans. I’m doing a legislative internship, and today I spent all morning having to listen to calls from racists who think there’s nothing racist about spending an hour (YES) telling you how much they hate Mexicans, or calling…

Yup. Woman are always made to feel like they are overreacting if they find a man creepy. We’re supposed to be understanding of gross behavior and write it off as “social awkwardness.” Fuck that noise. Trust your gut ladies.

Like they would ever accept the opinion of a doctor.

“Her heart was as black as her yoga pants, and just as unforgiving.”

“Kid,” wrote one. “Your [sic] not a doctor...sorry to tell you, but not everything you hear on the Internet is true.”

Several anti-vax organizations have been pooling their collective intellectual powers

omg literally the face i just made reading this line

Much like South Park, Schumer fearlessly tackles taboo subjects like incest and bodily excretions, except she’s a person, not a cartoon.

a New York Jew with a copy of the Times tucked into her bag.

Or you know, she’s Indian and that’s how our brows look.

I’m so confused.

I don’t know what these words are. Is this like a Sears Roebuck catalogue? Where are my glasses?

DUDE those Pnina dresses are horrendous and I will never ever ever understand the desire to drop $10-$15k to look like a glorified late 1980s hair band hooker on one’s wedding day.

That dress looks like one of those Pnina Tornai monstrosities that women are always spending way too much money for on Say Yes to the Dress.

That is astronomically unlikely. Most 22 year olds are still in college. In any case, the median household income in the US is $51,000. Less than 7% of working Americans have a six-figure income, and 90% of those are over the age of 50. Making $100k+ at 22 is exceptionally rare outside of professional sports.

Your username is very ironic!

I don’t know where you live or what job you have, but for me, rent is high enough in the non-ghetto that having a roommate is the only viable option.