I mean, I would hope that real doctors don't act like the ones in Grey's Anatomy, but we all know it's just a show. If the characters acted like normal, professional people, it wouldn't be entertaining.

Woah! She looks just like her mother.

THIS IS OKAY BUT IF A GIRL DOES IT SHE IS A BAD WHOREFACE BADDIE.

What?

Yes, but mostly because my muscles down there are apparently so strong I basically shoot the tampon out while pooping. I'm not really given much choice. After-the-fact TMI Alert.

I also want to find the 28% of respondents that hover. No ladies, you cannot accurately piss and hover, especially if you are in heels. Target sells toilet seat covers for $1/10 covers if you are that toilet-phobic.

#9 is "Do you take your shirt off to poop?" AND 9% OF PEOPLE SAID YES WHO ARE THESE CRAZIES

I will not address the awful comments. I'll move on to something else.

Also, any guy who enjoys blowjobs and uses "dick-sucking" as an insult is a fucking hypocrite.

I'm shocked places still have these. For the most part, they're completely unenforceable outside of a very small set of circumstances. Any agreement that would make it difficult for someone to find new work is going to be thrown out.

This was in a textbook, you guys. Not a Chive article. A TEXTBOOK.

During his initial campaign for governor, Walker made it clear that he wanted to outlaw abortion even as a life-saving measure. That's right. He thinks that women who are violently hemorrhaging because their pregnancy has gone hideously wrong should be forced by law to die. Because he is a piece of shit.

I raised chickens growing up and can attest that yes, they are major assholes. Assholes that are best served fried with waffles.

Chickens are assholes. Tasty, tasty assholes.

Do you know how these "shrink creams" actually work? They dry out your pussy so there's more friction when you are being penetrated by a cock, which I guess is supposed to make you feel tighter or like he can't even fit in there! Except it's hard for him to get in there because you are dry as a bone. That's why that…

"We sincerely apologize on behalf of McKenna Peterson's feminism. Please accept these complementary pom pom's as our way of saying we look forward to seeing you on the field. They're pink!"

corporate faceplant coming in 3, 2, 1...

I cannot wait for the tone deaf response from Dick's. Prove me wrong, Dick's. Dick's.

Claudia was obviously the best! Dawn was cool too; she was a proto-lesbian, right? (On the other hand, it's been a minute, and also I toss the proto-lesbian label around like it's Halloween candy.)

Giorgio Armani excused his behavior: "You can't expect exemplary behavior from a man like him," he said.