My brother was 4. I was 6. It was a summer day, we were playing outside. Mom was gardening. She yells to us to stay in the yard, she’s going inside to use the bathroom. This was the Midwest, small town Americana at its finest, in the 80s, so no big whoop.

11. Don’t moan or make weird comments while I’m shampooing you. Every stylist has experienced at least one creep who has permanently scarred them via a shampoo massage-induced cape-tenting boner.

As a stylist, I enjoy comfortable silence so I can concentrate on my work. We talk to people all damn day, so a break is nice now and again!

As a stylist/barber, all I can say is FUCKING PREACH, KWEEN.

Grossssssssss

Middle school? Oh, honey.

Totally normal. Some have veggie burgers, but not many.

Northern Wisconsin has pasties, too. Both kinds.

I want to know what kind of hardware she’s using. That is a cool piece. I want to get high with it.

My Munchie Methodology -

The color is permanent - it’ll grow out, not wipe off.

Or Elmer Fudd

If hair is damaged, it has to be cut. It doesn't "recover."

Do I spy a culturally appropriated headdress? You know, the ones y'all have written 29845708934750987 articles railing against?

She’s lower to the ground than most people. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel for her.

I thought bangs were the most of her problems. Then I looked below her neck.

I bet Ice Cube thinks douching after sex prevents pregnancy.

Abso-fuckin-lutely.

Wisconsin ex-pat here, livinv in Seattle.

You shut your goddamned mouth.