this really is a comedy column for sure.

unless is a bro-dozer, then it’s ok.  Houston.

which is why David needs to move on from this...

my advice was to ride the bus and save his money.  He is in NO position to buy a $20K car - that makes his money problems worse.   For the cost of a single car payment, or 2 months of the higher insurance cost of a new car on payments, he can fix the BMW.  And don’t bring MJ into your failed argument - that’s…

you, sir, having not even done an article yet, are better than several of the actual Jalopnik writers in current assignment.  Please complete your task so that we all may enjoy.

simple answer - nope.   Suburbans took the market.

I daily a pair - a F150 Lariat Supercrew and a Lincoln MKS (only because I can’t find another good Town Car to replace the last one).  Great Minds Think Alike Joe.

looking to find one right now to daily, for exactly those reasons.

a large screwdriver on the seat next to you was required for the 351c and it’s propensity to vaporlock.  I could unscrew that problem in about 2 minutes, but it really sucked to have to do it. 

even if all you do is split the Y and put on a pair of flowmasters, these really do sound half decent.

my P71 marauder clone has a CAI w/ cone.....what a pain in the butt for absolutely nothing more than looks and probably worse performance.

those street appearance cars are a great starting point.  

I didn’t build this one myself - a dude from Florida did it - the whole build is documented on crownvic.net. It was a real PITA. Better to hunt out a street appearance sport and start from there...rare, but they’re out there. You’d have to DIY a P71 into something like mine as a labor of love hobby thing...it’s gonna…

I’ve got a P71 that’s been cloned to a Marauder - center shift, the whole shot, mustang GT interior, etc. I’ve had good ones, and bad ones, but no terrible ones even at the $800 purchase price mark. Would probably recommend a MGM or civilian GrandMA car for this dude - P71's have rubber floors, and awful seats unless…

bone stock grampa car - absolutely. 04+ is absolutely a better front end. But this dude’s got NOTHING to his name. A 97 MGM for $1200 with 170K miles that has decent tires and isn’t leaking too much fluids should NOT be out of the question. Old cop car - sure. Old taxi, nope. Modded and ‘wired for soundzzz’ hard pass.

that or an older cheaper one - there is NO better answer for this dude than a Panther - cheap to buy, cheap to run, cheap to fix, doesn’t break much, usually worth what you bought it for when you sell it, and utterly reliable.

true - probably should ride the bus for a while, save up some dough.

broke, and on the job a week after 6 months with no job in the best economy EVER is the literal opposite of ‘stable’ income. This guy should be looking at a $2500 used Crown Vic from a BHPH lot in the most generous of scenarios.

5 times in 7 years is either a: a lie or b: 5 more in a series of bad decisions this dude has made

right - the correct answer is repair the Big Money Waster and save his pennies until he’s in a financially responsible position to purchase a vehicle