I was making an obscure Seinfeld reference. I think Keith is great, and I would love to hear the shit he says between innings all the time.

OH MAN THIS REMINDS ME OF THIS ONE TIME IN COLLEGE WHERE WE WERE DOING FIREBALL SHOTS OUT OF PEOPLE’S POO-HOLES (ANUSES) AND SOME WISECRACK THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE EVERYONE LMAO TO SET ONE ON FIRE. WHEN I SAW THAT GAPING MAW OF FIRE, TEQUILA, AND A SMALL DINGLEBERRY I THOUGHT “NO WAY BUT THIS IS COLLEGE AND THERE IS NO…

i’ll go ahead and blame the victim here.

I feel so bad for this kid and his parents. I really do. Having said that, why would anybody want to go to North Korea? Serious question.

“Case closed, justice has been served. Let’s not look back at things that can’t be changed and focus on the future instead.”

But would this team have beat the 95-96 Bulls? Obviously not.

I’m fairly certain had I had the same amount I would have imagined myself saying that as I lay face down on the sidewalk unable to walk.

I can’t help but think that Windhorst probably googled “What does marijuana smell like” before chiming in.

This motherfucker right here.

Just in case you’re not impressed enough by this guy free soloing in less than four hours, here’s where I’ll point out that the very first ascent of El Capitan took 47 fucking days.

Thank you for this. They are literally drawing the line at “destruction of the human race.”

Helicopter parenting is bad and you can’t shelter them from bad stuff in the world too much but I feel like “I don’t want my children interacting with a known serial killer” is a fairly reasonable request?

The friction goes all the way back to the beginning, when Mike thought his name should be first.

#IrishPenceWasntHere

Bobby Moynihan, too. That’s the one that really guts me. :(

This is part of the war on men. A Cox and a Dick were fired, what more proof do you need?!

Just wanna say that if I were Huma I’d send back my divorce papers with a note that just said “Humad?”

It’s probably LaVar Ball you idiot

“What is the scientific nature of this expedition?”
“Revenge.”

I mean, it’s not really abuse from Ivy Leaguers if it comes from people who go to Cornell.