Football players make millions because people pay billions to watch football. Nobody pays a dime to go watch the cheerleaders at a football game because they’re an unnecessary accessory, just like the pretzel vendor.

What harm comes from supplying people with birth control, condoms, Pap smears, and cancer screenings?

Ban teens.

An asshole who refers to himself as “a great guy” while not having the guts to dump his gf before screwing someone else.

July 31, 2011: Announced he had been diagnosed with Boarderline Personality Disorder, and has been undergoing treatment to understand and manage his condition ever since.

Probably getting the same boner everyone on Gawker got when they thought it was crazy white christians.

Stopped reading. Features two of the best montages in cinematic history, let alone this series, along with the redemption not just of a person, but a whole nation. 10/10, would change again.

We found out about Vigo, the master of evil. Try to battle our boys? That’s not legal.

We should just flood the internet with Vines of people flipping things in front of Rangers fans for the rest of the offseason.

Take that Brian McCann you fat fuck.

I had sex with someone in a relationship because there was something missing in her relationship. From what she told me, they both “checked out” a while ago without saying it. It was one of those polyamory relationships. My guess is he came home after a date satisfied to his mate who I satisfied, so there wasn’t any…

I’m beginning to think the NFL is more concerned with making money than it is in humanity’s collective quality of life.

Preferred method: “Ahoy, hoy”.

In a few weeks we’ll find out Kostek is actually 40 cans of Bud Light in a wig.

It's because he's Blake, isn't it?

yeah, this is some Andy Kaufman-level shit going on right here.

Not only is he a great hitter, but his blood contains small flakes of actual gold.

“You’ll regret pissing off your star player. I guarantee it.”

Someone at EA saw Kung Fury and was like, let’s do that! It’s what the kids are into on the Internet. It’s retro cool! smh