Can of Borrowed Feeling

Barber: I got you, Fam.

JUST FUCK MY SHIT UP FAM

Skip Disney, go to Gatorland. My family still talks about how fun that place is, and we’ve all needed to get new pages sewn into our passports.

This was so close to a really good joke and then you had to keep writing. So close.

Oof, Spaceballs is a chore now. Blazing Saddles is, of course, still perfection.

Bunch of AAASholes.

Ricky Gervais had the best response to this non story:

Everyone clicked on this because they thought they were gonna see a nip slip

They can come pry the one cigarette I smoke every 3 months when blacked out drunk out of my cold dead fingers.

Luis Matos

Seriously? The your decision to stay in Milwaukee or leave hinges on whether or not the Bucks are there?

I kinda though it looked like a nug of weed, tbh.

Yes, I agree, women who play professional sports should be fairly compensated. And the disparity between losing in the first round of the men’s FIFA World Cup and winning the women’s FIFA World Cup should not be so stark - particularly for an organization wit h so much money running around. HOWEVER, some of the reason…

Just tell them they’re not that attractive and you don’t know who let them talk. Maybe if they were hotter you would listen to their opinions.

Honestly, before I scrolled down, I thought it was because the bird is in blackface.

You’re obviously forgetting [MISTER BLACK]. The Simpsons just is not as classic a show without Harry Shearer’s indelible portrayal of [MISTER BLACK].

He can’t refer to Roger Goodell’s anatomy.