Nope, I'm pretty sure the meaning of a speech act is limited to the literal meaning of the words. I don't understand why people keep misunderstanding me when I say, "I won't do that for less than twenty-five bucks." It's like they can't tell the difference between a statement and its converse.

If you had said, "She hates giving head to old guys," I bet you'd still offend some people. That proves mathematically that it's impossible not to offend some people ((A or not A) implies B, where A is "She loves giving head to old guys" and B equals "Some readers are offended").

Odyssey?

Haven't you learned your lesson about admitting possession of feelings and opinions by now? There are only two proper responses here when such issues are raised: 1) Am I free to go? 2) I refuse to talk outside the presence of my lawyer.

This isn't in the same zip code as the site's old harrassment low water mark. I won't go into details because I'm a the-glass-is-two-percent-full type.

My Little Ponies? This man never dressed up as a horse's rear end in his life!

It's not zoophilia if it's Dikachu. The technical term for sex between two members of the same species is "sex cannibalism." Disgusting.

I wish I could believe this was a natural language parser instead of a regular person willing to work for Pn3000/week (Pn = peanuts).

I liked the sequel, Cujo vs. Uriel.

Some people claim Alexander Friedmann got to the equations first and independently in 1922. I dunno.

Please leave the judgment of whether your enjoyment is legitimate or a symptom of bad character to the experts.

Nice job scamming the drinks, but you're not supposed to return from a going-away party. If those people see you around town again, they'll want their money back.

A few weeks of lion-preventative shampoo will clear that right up. Right next to the Head & Shoulders.

It's the more family friendly version of Grizzly Man. Anyway, it's not the predators' fault these people couldn't align their chakras correctly. They should have practiced rearranging their auras to avoid mosquito bites first.

Fuck off, N00b.

That was my reaction too: the only reason the Rex was merely a velociraptor hybrid was to hold something back for next time.

Yeah, that's not practical. You could just live in the tank, though.

Man, I missed being the first person on the planet to make a Flintstones reference out of that event by five minutes.

Better.

If an Icelander comes out as trans, do they have to change their last name?