My impression (somebody correct me if I'm wrong) is that when you hear those stories about athletes killing themselves by drinking too much water, it's usually really just too much water (and possibly potassium to make it even worse) for the amount of salt consumed (usually none).

Mostly, the meat tastes funny because it's turkey pretending to be something else.

The act of adolescent rebellion (8 or 9 years too late, but that's not my fault) got them so hot and lathered, they had to run straight home, jump into bed and rip off the mattress tag.

Third-party candidates have drained votes from both sides. Ross Perot, Ralph Nader, Pat Buchanan, John Anderson… I won't and can't go through the whole list, but I'll just mention the grand-daddy of them all, the three-way split in the pro-slavery vote that made Lincoln president, though that was a few years ago.

That's the kind of patrician "your momma" joke I expect from a better class of people!

I'm sorry, but I cannot countenance the potential hijacking of what I had hoped to become a serious in-depth discussion of the filmic arts by a grubby political argument. At that I must tip my trilby at you and say good-day.

Dissolve commenters are the new MRAs? They're coming for us!

Yeah, the judicial minimalists (or whatever the phrase is for those who are more likely to defer to other parts of government) in the Supreme Court would have a fairly strong argument if there actually were any consistent judicial minimalists in the Supreme Court.

The people who made the phrase a thing never stopped arguing about that either, so the answer is "yes."

"Hard and Trude Vol. 1"

No, at least one of you has to be straight, to give mainstream audiences someone to identify with. And preferably a woman.

I figure I'm beloved enough and have enough of a back catalog to draw on by now that I can do my own clips show right here. Get ready for some greatest hits, people!

No, I didn't mean to imply that. Still scraping by as far as I know.

You're thinking of the Danes and the Roskilde Festival, one newswire down.

I still believe marriage should be between a man and a woman, and to make sure of that, every applicant should have to consult a geneticist, endocrinologist, and MRI technician of the state's choosing.

Good idea. I'll do that for the next article.

Is this the place to talk about your patio furniture and buff your cul de sac cred? I thought so.

Watching this fall apart is like following webcomics and seeing yet another artist who is talented, dedicated, willing to accept a modest salary to keep doing what they love, and fails anyway because there isn't enough money to go around (possibly followed by a mental breakdown, but hopefully not this time).

Only 15? He's practically a balloon man! I hope this doesn't blow up in his hands.

No part of her story was corroborated, apart from that she appeared upset to her friends. She lied about her friends' reaction, she lied about a frat house that wasn't holding a party, she lied about a school representative who is now suing Rolling Stone for repeating her claims without outside confirmation, she made…