Your mother downs a six-pack a day just for the bottlecaps.

I'm sorry, but the panel of patent lawyers has rejected "television" for that category. Acceptable answers include "the Internet," "a mobile phone," and "a device that is secured around the wrist or worn in the manner of glasses."

And you think parthenogenesis is normal? This is what the legalization of gay marriage has brought us.

On the contrary, the rate of abnormalities among children of such a union is sky-high.

You have me confused with someone else. The Mountain is merely dead, not crippled.

It'll get awkward when they start first grade.

I never met my twin and didn't even know I had one until he started telling me to kill people.

Salon paraphrasing Johnathan Turner: "the disgust that comes with certain forms of incest, like mother-son incest, has been hard-wired into the human brain, since those carry heightened chances of genetic abnormalities (like cleft palates, autism and mental retardation) in resulting children…. But in the case of…

Genevieve K. got in half of the good lines for what discriminating readers agree to be the best AV Club article of the year. Also, that "Guest" joke, if it can be called that, is terrible, harrumph harrumph, etc.

The gossip rags already named the pairing Bennifer. They always fight when one gets more likes than the other.

(Oblig.) It's Stathams all the way down?

Precisely! Truly be ye wise in the ways of science. Though birds do fall to the ground when they die, because death is heavy.

When considering the "truth" of theories, start with "The Relativity of Wrong" to avoid rehashing the usual crap. (This isn't a criticism of anyone in this discussion, just a recommendation.)

But curing AIDS is his job; he's doing it on a pro Bono basis.

Birds have the density of air, which is why they can fly. So, can you fire something with the density of air hard enough to kill a pig?

It's good for the economy! There's a whole theory to it.

To each their own, or two with fistula.

Do all Doom monsters have absurdly detailed Wikipedia entries?

Thank you for making the point, albeit unintentionally, that the the report about protagonists/leads was misleading to the point that most citations, including yours and the Times', are clearly wrong. (You could choose to put most of the blame on the Times and most others who have covered the report for badly…

Did you spot the anachronistic big-mouth ketchup bottle in the refrigerator in the "Too Many Cooks" spot? It made me mad enough to swear to spend the rest of my life trying to destroy the civilization, the species, and the planet that could create such an abomination.