Top-quality singing air can make you famous just like it did her.

The pay will be in regular gold for the last season, but it all goes in one pile, after the series is over, and can be claimed by only one person.

The jar was empty. He has claustrophobia.

So Grisham's representation was bullshit in basically every respect — age, nature of the crime, and time spent in prison — if the link below is at all accurate. That ought to be the key point (which was left out of this article and the article it linked to), and yes, that makes Grisham either an asshole or gullible.…

The Danish tabloids had naked 16-year-old page 3 girls until after the year 2000. It's just as well that they stopped (at least I think they did), and I'd worry about someone who passionately opposed stopping. Nonetheless, an entire country of sex offenders — if it's an act that clearly should be criminal, then voting…

I miss the days when you could project menace and omniscience just by congratulating an enemy on their niece's field hockey victory.

I may not be able to find you, you leech sucking on the heel of supervillainy, but I can find Nigeria, if you ever interfere with my schemes again.

Papers and Paychecks is terribly unbalanced. If you don't roll 00 for your initial treasure, you're screwed.
Get it? I'm kicking upwards! That joke was my good deed for the month!

That's just a taste of what will happen to the entire city if $1 million is not deposited in my bank account by 5:00 p.m. tomorrow.

It's not very refreshing when the cigarette in your mouth becomes tumescent and barbed. There should be warnings on those things.

A sloth filled with fury after humans abused their fast-twich muscle fibers to snipe its sloth jokes fifty times in a row.

Maybe the (arguable) mistake is part of doing an effective parody of such explanations, but just to nitpick: 15-pound bowling balls seem to be most popular among serious male bowlers these days. I think most dilettantes (male and female) tend to choose balls as proxies for external sexual characteristics, or to have…

I appreciate the explanation of thirteen pounds in layman's terms. Sam should definitely keep this in his portfolio if he wants to work the science beat from the basement closet office of a major newspaper.

Tic Tac Toe: the Movie

"In total, Calvin caused an estimated $15,955.50 worth of damage over the duration of the comic strip (Figure 1)"

I think you're the one missing the point. Where does Goat say it isn't theft? Discussing preventative measures is not equivalent to victim blaming, and there's nothing in Goat's post that says he was doing the second one.

"Welcome to Elmer's Horse Suicide Prevention Hotline. Would you like to talk about your problems? You whinny too much. That's probably why no one likes you. Thank you, and good-bye forever."

**Orchestra music, just a drop of sound at first, swells into a river. Crowds applaud on six continents. A rabbi and a mullah hug. A rosebud matures into a gorgeous burgundy flower in five seconds. Two dozen people walk hand in hand, arms swinging, up a grassy hillside.**

Downvoted for implicitly endorsing Aristotelian physics.

If you want to be quite literal about it, she made an informal essay complete with quasi-random digressions out of what normally would have been a formal critical essay on a topic most people don't care much about. No, she certainly isn't the only writer on the site to have done that, and no, it's not a bad thing. I…