Your Mom is pulling your leg. That is a watermelon. Now proceed to her garden at nightfall with a wheelbarrow and abscond with the rest ;)

I'm growing a big green ENVY bump on my forehead and wishing I were your neighbor so I could pretend to faint on your porch because "OMG, I have this Terrible Vitamin C deficiency!"

“In proportion to career development or life experience." *sigh* Does this apply to Hollywood Divas? It seems like no one really expects them to develop or mature beyond the age of 8. Well, as long as they can keep a solid fan base anyway.

It’s very sad. He seems to have turned into the classic, bitter- sometimes abusive- alcoholic. But I have to wonder how on earth she was charmed or “smitten” enough to marry this quickly fading star in the first place. The mere thought of lying underneath his sweaty body............uurrgh. Does it weird anyone out…

Or at least do something with the hair :/

Hahahaha! god I wish I had time to read ALL the pages in that link. What a thing of beauty (I’m gonna bookmark it). Loved the toilet paper with "only 3 sheets allowed." Thanks Maxine :)

Are you Kristin? Well done!

You sound like my nieces. They actively Compete via their baking skills to see who can do it best. There have been several fails, but it just speaks to their sense of adventure. Everyone wins really.

I’m phobic about restaurants (have worked in too many). I don’t feel comfortable with what MIGHT be coming out of the kitchen (was it fresh, handled correctly? Did something on my plate fall on the floor? Clean hands?) But if I go to a potluck, I know whoever made what is in the room and accountable and would likely…

Yeah, that's kinda what friendship is all about. Even at our family dinners everyone brings something because my 70 yr. old mother should not be expected to cook everything: but then everyone likes to show off their culinary skills anyway. Maybe this reader has a general dislike for people. None of us can be…

I can't post links or gifs anymore and the site keeps freezing or disappearing. It's a mess.

Haha! Thank you SO much. Wasn't this the post-Thanksgiving "moist-maker" or something? Dude was inconsolable :)

Eh, be more subtle: make a sandwich that LOOKS irresistible but is, in fact, composed of incompatible, vomit worthy ingredients. Nothing full of e-coli or salmonella, just something disgusting. Chances are they'll never do it again ;)

NO! But I'm guessing their shelf life rivals that of the Great Twinkie.

I'm sure you're too young to remember candy cigarettes? Hey, I can smoke it AND eat it! Also those candied beads they strung on necklaces, and red "licorice." Hey people, it's NOT licorice. I'm going back to my cave now for some lovely Almond paste............

I have never eaten one of those foul things. They are like “candy meets Tupperware" or something. It's rubber food, but dentists must be jumping for joy.

No kidding. That would have called for some serious payback action. Btw: Their used to be a website called "The Revenge Lady," and ohhhh.....was it ever deee-LISH! I hope it's still there

Oh yeah! He has "that certain something" for sure (and I'll bet he throws the best damn parties too).

Your opinion seems unpopular. Oh well. I hated it too and had to be pretty much forced to watch it. I don't like sloppy, sappy and overly romantic. Also Rose was an idiot. I would have married that rich douche in a heartbeat.

So he won two tickets. Why the hell did he need two tickets?