But being able to cling to the illusion post baby that you are still a healthy young person with hobbies? Priceless.

Michael Cera is Canadian tho. As a Canadian myself, I can confirm that we wouldn’t be able to read this if she didn’t translate into our language. The simple fact that it didn’t have the word “sorry” in it somewhere really caused me some head scratching, so it’s nice she tried to meet him halfway and bridge the…

Probably just happy someone out there is still talking about him.

Did you call it knotting instead of rosebudding just so I’d click on it again not knowing what it was and be traumatized all over again? Because if so, well played sir, well played.

Not to mention that we could have the big earthquake at any time. Big enough to crack the earth and release all the underground alligators. They all wear eyeglasses and want to discuss why the bands you like suck. Portland is a hellscape.

I’m feeling pretty cool in comparison about my over reliance on Dinosaur Train to get these kids out of my hair. Winning!

It’s been my experience that the extreme right wing people and the extreme left wing people are pretty much the same group with the defining feature being the certainty that they are right and everyone else is stupid. I mean, just come down to Portland sometime, find the nearest dreadlocked pagan drum circle and…

How on earth did this family with such a high concentration of moronic incompetents manage to earn and retain so much money? I’m honestly just baffled. Is that the secret to success? Move to Texas and act like an idiot and riches will flow to you?

I mean, my toddler DOES have a cute little cookie face and a cuddly jiggly belly, so I can’t really blame you. That guy looks delicious.

Screw surviving, you know whose having fun in a zombie apocalypse? The zombies. No mo’ problems, no mo’ having to comb your hair, no mo’ mortgage, just brains as far as the eye can see. #TeamZombie

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say it’s probably pretty unlikely that the agents representing the stars of what was likely going to be the highest grossing and most heavily merchandised movie of all time didn’t ask for some percentage cut on top of the flat fee.

My dad has a dr buddy from China who has five kids. Spoiler alert: he’s really rich and well connected.

Between that and the bit about menstral cycles, I need to ask: um, guys, is there a part of making sushi where you shove it in your vagina? Because if so, I’ve been doing this all wrong.

I just assumed right off the bat that he had pawned it for gambling dough.

Right? The fact that she had to stand in line for the bathroom is bizarre. These people can’t put a “reserved” sign up in one of the bathrooms?

That’s the thing right? We’re all making fun of him for being a sexist pig like he’s an idiot, but that’s his whole intentional strategy to appeal to his voter base of angry white blue-collar men who think women and minorities are stealing their country from them and ruining everything with political correctness.…

Ok, I looked it up further. This pardon means he can now serve on a jury and own a gun. I’ll hold my breath for his jury service:

That’s what people in another thread are saying, but I just looked it up and felons can vote in CA as long as they’ve completed their sentences and parole, which he has.

Ok, good for RDJ and all, but was there something about his past offenses that was interfering with his life as a rich and successful movie star? I mean we have people all over the place currently serving jail time for similar offenses, none of them could have gotten this pardon? It’s not like no one will hire him for…

Me too. Sometimes just walking up to your man and saying “I’m gonna jam out with my clam out over here” is just really satisfying even if it’s not the correct term. Really solidifies the bedrock of marriage to occasionally yell “va-jongle time!!!”