Yeah, I think in theory this is an ok idea, but we live in a country that looks at poor people and thinks “fuck them and spit on their graves, only stupid people are poor.” So it’s not like there’s a life line there to feed my kids if I go this route.

Ah Y2K. I will always miss my neighbor Dave. Who we had to eat to survive. And also because he got annoying making jokes about the Mayan apocalypse calendar having bad clock programming. Dark times.

When this news started popping in my Facebook feed this morning my very first thought was “wasn’t this the guy who was sort of a gross jerk on wife swap?” But it seemed impolite to say to everyone mourning their childhood good feels on social media.

Me too! I went there totally randomly and it’s just such a cool city with a really awesome contemporary art scene. Apparently fueled by coke.

Truth. I’m kind of joking about Hills going hiking. Let’s get real, we all know after a good cathartic cry, she went straight back to working hard behind the scenes because she is a badass baller who will never stop trying.

I mean Clinton spent a good year warning us about this stuff and not enough of us listened the first time around. I totally respect her “imma go hike in the woods” position now.

Oh trust me, I’m right there with you. I have two small sons and I spend a good chunk of time now worrying that I brought these two sweet innocent little people into the world just to witness the mass destruction of everything I hold dear.

I think they would talk very sympathetically and certainly offer to sell Israel an assortment of our finest and most expensive arms, but if it came to actually sending a major amount of military force in, I think they would draw the line.

Eh, I dunno. Sure Trump talks a good game about ending the deal with Iran and supporting Israel, but if Netanyahu thinks Trump would lift one teeny tiny doll sized finger to come to Isreal’s aid if Iran actually did attack them, I got a bridge to sell him.

Hey, look on the bright side, if Trump starts WWIII, it’s really going to help out with this whole climate change disaster by killing off a whole bunch of us. Or maybe he can avoid WWIII by canceling everyone’s health insurance thus killing off a whole bunch of us before we get around to fighting. Or maybe we can…

We just got a VW golf alltrack and it’s pretty nice. It’s a wagon, so it’s got good space for kids, but it’s also a four wheel drive with off-road capabilities and has this giant sunroof that is literally the entire top of the car, so it’s pretty fun to drive.