By the time you get to Phoenix Heaven.

That plan ain't right.

"Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in parasite."
— Alien Luke 23:24

Lotta ways to go with a "malignant man" joke.

Mike Pence already has his tickets for back-to-back opening night screenings.

News reports should only ever use that picture of Trump in too-short, too-tight tennis shorts.

You know how the presidency rapidly ages people to the point where Obama took office looking like a young Denzel and left looking like an old Ossie Davis?

I'm just happy she's finally met someone.

Yeah, but who's crying now?

Take that any way you want it. That's the way you'll get it.

OK. He married infamous Obama White House party crasher Michaele Salahi. That should taint him.

I binged all 10 episodes of Handmaid's Tale instead of watching a movie.

You have to never make money to make money.

Netflix: Now with more misogyny and fascism.

Admit it. Uvea love it.

You're thinking of Foley Man.

This is set in a middle school. How many more pupils do you want?

As usual, the cops can't find a better man.

Eh, go paint a French girl.

So. Much. Drinking. Like, Bukowski levels of drinking.