If you try to tackle Dracula, won't he just turn into a bat and flit away? Nothing in the rule book says a shape-shifting bloodsucker can't play football.

They've already staked out their intentions.

O'Reilly's dick most resembles Harding because it was never strong, didn't deserve its job, and committed suicide* a long time ago.

Fox News hosts can never play loofa 'nuff with the facts.

The girstly details: Fox News has no meat of truth on the bones of its stories.

Wolverine: Stacked

Wolverine doesn't reboot. He heals.

"Feed the ego."

Silence, you!

*Snow walks out dejectedly*

"Sorry, sir. Park's closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya."

Not while using "Mensez feminine lipstick," you won't.

Like a scrotal sac? I figured that came factory standard.

If you don’t have labia, rest assured that they are not meant to hold menstrual blood inside your body.

Man, my understanding of the female reproductive system is all wrong.

Yes, convenience. You'll never even feel the bullet from the Amazon Foods delivery drone as it enters the back of your skull. Your last thought, with tears rolling down your cheeks, will be, "I love Jeff Bezos."

— Whole Books
— Prime Foods
— You Will Be Assimilated (with kale)

Even taking into account trademark issues, no excuse exists for a rap name as terrible as "Lil Yachty."

Idi's is a great place to catch stand up, but the brick wall backdrop makes performers nervous. And the two human heart minimum puts off a lot of the crowd.

Trump's greatest enemy is Trump. I fully endorse him purging himself.