psst...Billy... They played Iraq in their second game, not Iran.

Olympic officials can’t clean out algae or fecal matter from the water in Rio but they extracted all the salt and gave it to that guy

Really doesn’t help either that the organist *immediately* starts playing that jumpy tune. A little sympathy for the man and his future funny-looking kids, man.

The Las Vegas Fat Elvises!

They’re missing the GERALD R. FORD class carriers.

The new NHL website is a crime against God and man (gold medal goes to “Just when you thought the NHL couldn’t get more white”) but I think the real crime is that they got rid of the punny headlines.