They should build a statue in Bristol for the guy who’s done so much to make ESPN what it is today. And if that’s too expensive, they can just steal one from a Buddhist temple.

I bet he knows some ways to make that dog a little bigger.

Willie Mays looks fuckin’ GREAT!

This is very economical headline writing. A year from now you’ll only have to change one letter.

What about the Suns? They’re already there...

“And yet, imagine James Harden playing in an offense that gets up and down the floor and allows him to shoot the ball 500 times a game.”

Dwight Howard

The more you travel, the more you see that racism is much worse in most parts of the world. The US is a racial utopia compared to Japan, Korea, China, Italy, middle east, many places in South America, etc. They are simply not bound by our social conventions and taboos.

So how many Warriors fans can the Sharks bandwagon handle?

I admit I watch First Take on occasion but only to masturbate to Molly Qerim’s strangely erotic mouth.

The 30-inch Zyla

If any of you are questioning whether this is safe for a baby, I am confident Zyla would tell us she died doing what she loved when she gains the power to speak in the next 2-3 years.

Goddamn Floridians. Can’t even spell their kids’ names right. It’s X-Y-L-A. Christ.

Searching for it...

Easy, buddy, probably at least two generations, including, I’m pretty sure, my own.

Bill and Teds Excellent Capital Venture

Have to give Jacob his props for time traveling back in time to draft Curry before he even bought the team.

Man at control panel wearing headset: Sir, it’s the advanced stats, they’re redlining.

The Ardrey Kell High School talent show: You pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge

Don’t worry about the feeling of all the other competitors, though. Everyone got a trophy!